Thankfulness

So Thanksgiving is fast approaching. How did that happen?

There is a lot to be thankful for this year, and its good to be able to sit down and remember it all:

• Me and my family are healthy, thats a big thing these days.
• I have a family who loves me.
• I have 2 adorable, smart, funny nephews whom I adore. I love them more than words can say. 
• I have a little niece/nephew on the way, due to arrive in April.
• I have a great boyfriend.
• I am getting my masters, for free, in the field of my choice.
• I have my job at old navy.
• I can pay my bills
• I have a house, heat, food, hot water, and all the other perks that I take for granted daily.
• I can afford my car, and to put gas in it.
• Never say never, but I know no matter what, I will always have someplace to go, and live.

more to come as the day approaches...

Life has been going fast...

...but I've luckily been finding time to enjoy some things!

• On Saturday, we celebrated Brady's 4th birthday. I can't even believe God blessed us with this little guy 4 years ago. I love him more than words can say. He grown from a little baby to a smart, well behaved little boy. Seriously, I don't know what I'd do without him, he brings me so much joy. (Along with his little bro riley)

 

• Chris and I have been falling asleep REALLY early lately. On any given Monday/Wednesday night, you will find the two of us fast asleep on the couches in my living room around 10 pm. We are both adjusting to life, CB with his job (going from working afternoons and nights at unos to work 7:30-4 at his new gig) and me with school, work and my fellowship. By the end of the day we are both exhausted, but it is good that we get to spend time with each other at least 3 times a week. I'm hoping it continues to work out like this as in the fall Chris plans to start grad school, which will mean long work days followed by long nights of class, but hopefully by then I will be working and in a routine. 
• We try to do fun things when we can. A few weeks ago we did the Diamond Dash in Boston, a scavenger hunt around the city for a diamond ring. We didn't win. This week we are doing the Chevy Sonic Adventure. Same idea, only this time you get a car! We also went apple picking and have been hanging out with friends whenever we can.

Anyone close to me knows that in July we lost CB's mom very unexpectedly to a blood clot that traveled to her lungs. It was a really hard time for him and his family, and for all of us who knew her. I was really lucky to have known her for the 2ish years that I did. She was so funny and cared SO much about CB and his sister MB. She took me on their family trip to Puerto Rico last year, and I'm so grateful I got to know her on that trip. Sometimes I think about passing and either a.) can't believe it really happened or b.) just cry. I really miss her and sometimes I feel like its selfish that I'm upset, but I am also sad for CB, as he deals with this daily. She was excited that I was starting grad school, and I wish she could be there to see me finish, but sometimes I think about her watching over us, drinking from a never-ending supply of her favorite cupcake wine, watching the real housewives and just laughing. I know this brings somewhat of a damper on my post, but I can't help but think that it would be a discredit not to mention this, as her death has really caused me to think twice about everything I do, and has helped me along in my grad school work.

Thats all for now. Time to do some work, paper due tomorrow pm. Only 207 days until graduation.

I'm siiiiick (thats 5 i's, for all those full house fans out there)

I think I'm sick...it was inevitable. At the rate I'm going with working and school and interning I knew this would happen. Last night I fell asleep at 8:30 which is early for me, and I had a real hard time getting myself up this morning.

So I just went to the bathroom and noticed that my face is bright red and I feel hot...then cold...then hot.

Thus, I think I'm getting sick. I ran to CVS for orange juice...come on vitamin c...work your magic!

Come on little zoloft, you can do it...

I've been facing massive amount of stress lately...and I don't know why.

I've been quick to snap at people, and even quicker to let myself get overwhelmed, which isn't entirely like me (only somewhat like me).

I guess I just don't feel like there are enough hours in the day, enough days in the week, and enough time for me to do what I want without falling into a huge amount of financial debt. I see my credit card balance higher than ever, and all I'm using it for is my monthly parking and to gas up felix (my car).

I'm in a hard situation because no one truly understands the stress I'm under. Rini (my mom) has no idea what I'm going through. She is constantly pressuring me to pick up more shifts at old navy so I can make more money, when some times all I wanna do is have 1 out of the 7 days off in a week. And CB has trouble understanding too, because to him I am financially stable, but to me I just don't know which end is up.

I'm hoping that life slows down, but I can't help but wonder how much it will speed up. I'm over tired, over worked, and my eyes hurt. I don't have time to read for class, but LUCKILY I'm good at making it seem like I have (that will probably drop out soon).

I just want to go apple picking, enjoy fall...and have a job. I can't wait until May.

I'm going to look back on this year and regret...

not updating this blog more.

So here goes:

Summer classes flew by, with a WHOLE lot of work. Man, grad school is tough. It was only a 7 week (or 8 week, depending who you talked to) term, and one of my classes was only 3 weeks long (and ended with a presentation I had to give on my birthday! ugh). Over the 7ish weeks I wrote 2 research papers, 2 essay exams, a strategic plan (2 drafts), researched foundations, and did a group presentation on grant writing. Phew...how did I do it? I'm unsure. Looking back it was so tough. I'd work at Mt Hope 7:30-2ish and then head up to school until 9:15pm. It was hard, but I'm that much closer to adding 3 little letters after my name M.Ed.

So now fall classes have begun. I'm taking 3 courses: Community Development, University-Community Relations, and Schools,Systems and Social Justice. After the summer term ended, I really was unsure if community engagement was the program for me. I had enjoyed my higher ed class the most, and was really concerned that I was going in the wrong direction. As had been a prior issue in my life, I wasn't interested in taking the same path as my sister JK, so I chose Comm Engagement as a way to get out of that cycle (I mean we went to the same college, I pretty much followed her path to a T).

The other night, after an AWESOME first university-community relations class, I went up to my professor and basically said 'So I loved this...am I in the wrong program?' She kind of laughed a little and then reassured me I was on the right track. She said she was surprised after viewing my resume that I wasn't in higher ed, only because I was so involved in undergrad, but that I could get a job in higher ed with my comm engagement degree, and that she would help me tailor my resume for HE jobs. I, ladies and gentlemen, was stoked.

Along with classes, I'm at my fellowship 3 days a week. I work in Lowell at Community Teamwork Inc. Basically I am an intern, but they are paying Merrimack for my masters. A win-win, except when my bills come in the mail! For that I am working at Old Navy a couple days a week, and probably gonna be chipping away at my savings a little at a time, but thats why I've been saving money from every christmas, birthday, easter, graduation, celebration since I was born, so I wouldn't have to worry about money...just keep telling myself that.

Grad school is stressful and takes up a lot of my time...but in May it'll be over...and I'll (hopefully) find a job...take that recession!

I've spent most of my day...

at Procrastination station.

I have so much reading to do and all I want to do is nap. Hopefully I find some motivation sooner rather than later.

Let the reading begin.

For those who don't personally know me, I'm a 23 (almost 24) year thrown into the mix of graduate school. Basically, grad school seemed like the next step for me, because finding a career wasn't really happening.

So when I found out my beloved alma mater had developed a Masters of Education in Community Engagement, and that their was a fellowship program that would make the tuition free, I jumped at the chance to 'further my knowledge.' With the help of a few awesome recommendations, I got into Merrimack and began class this week. I will be in school for the next year or so, with a graduation in May. As for my fellowship, I will be working part time at Community Teamwork, a pretty nifty place that helps people in the city of Lowell and surrounding communities.

For the summer, I am enrolled in 3 classes: Fundraising and Grant Writing, Contemporary Issues in Higher Education, and Theories and Principles of Community Engagment. So far, the reading is INTENSE but I have been trying my darndest to get things done.

With the stresses of a steading income, reading, paying bills and coursework looming over my head, I begin this next chapter of my life somewhat hopeful. I'm hopeful that I will learn a lot, and that at the end of this I will be able to find myself a career, not just a job...